Single Mothers and Hostility
In our society, there will always be a bias about the conventional two parent family being better than the single parent family. Sometimes, single moms are met with outright hostility by people who prejudge and don’t take the time to understand that there are legitimate reasons to choose to raise a child alone. How can you handle someone who treats you badly?
The first thing you need to do is give yourself a pep talk. No one can make you feel bad unless you give them the power. So you have to adjust your mind to deflect all the negativity coming from some people. People who are quick to judge without knowing you or your circumstances are only showing their own biases and ignorances.
Very often, the ones who are so quick to put others down are covering up their own insecurities. They may be jealous about how you can juggle a career and single parenthood very well, while they are struggling to keep it all together in their own two parent family. They may resent what they perceive as you having more freedom in your lifestyle and they may be feeling stifled in theirs. Keep in perspective that these people do not know you, and their feelings toward you don’t matter in your life.
Take a look inside yourself to be sure you are not judging them. Do you lump all two parent moms together and believe they all must have the same narrow views? Do you assume they don’t want to know you without first giving them a chance? Sometimes we anticipate being treated badly so we overcompensate by treating them badly first. Make sure you aren’t falling into this behavioral trap.
So how can you make some friends? A good way to start is to find some moms who you have things in common with. Maybe there are a couple moms you have seen at the yoga studio, or who you have heard talking about the vacation they took to a place where you are planning to go. Use your common interest to open a conversation. Then you can move on to arranging a play date or invite them out for a coffee after dropping the kids off to school. You may be pleasantly surprised to find moms who have wanted to get to know you too.
It’s unfortunately a fact of life that some people will always prejudge, or put down people in circumstances they don’t approve of or fail to understand. You do not need these people in your life, so remove them from your thoughts. Surround yourself with positive people who make you feel good and ignore the negative ones. Positive people will help you to foster a great outlook on life.Related Stories: